What to Do When a Loved One Asks to Borrow Money

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One of the most difficult things is not being able to help out a loved one. Even though we want to help them, sometimes it just isn’t possible. Saying no becomes very difficult, especially if the matter is financial.

Helping a loved one financially is a tough situation, no matter what your answer is. It doesn’t matter if you are giving them the money or aren’t, things tend to get awkward. If you don’t give them the money, then they can get offended, the relationship can turn sour as a result.

If you do give them money, getting it back is another headache. They expect you to understand and can get lazy returning the money. Fights escalate when you do ask them to return the money.

Although you want to help them, you have to think about yourself first. If loaning them money is going to put yourself in a tough spot financially, then that is not a good situation to be in. You have to make a decision based on how it affects you. Yes, we want to save our loved ones from all the issues, but when we are all adults solving our own problems becomes a priority and everyone is responsible for their own life. 

No one is entitled to anything, no matter what their relation to you. If you don’t want to give them money, then you shouldn’t feel pressurized to do so. And if you do, then that is a clear red flag to not give them money, because chances are you will never see that money again.

Lending money to family often ends up breaking your budget, because it is an unexpected expense and chances are that the amount is big.

What to do when a monetary request does come your way from a loved one?

  • Figure out how much you can spare without going into a financial crunch yourself.
  • If it does not affect your budget, then go ahead with it.
  • Set a few ground rules though
    • Set a date at which they are supposed to return the money.
    • Make it clear that you will never help them again if the given money isn’t returned first.

Setting boundaries is really important to make it clear that you can’t be used as a financial crutch. You have your own commitments and responsibilities to take care of. If this person is always borrowing money, and never seems to change anything financially to not be in this position, then it might be time to let that person go.

While the main thing that we are frightened of is losing the person when it comes to financial matters, sometimes that is exactly what needs to happen for the peace of your mind and health of your wallet.

Final Thoughts

If you really want to help the person, then take your budget into account before lending them money. Set ground rules about repayment of the money, and if they are a serial borrower, then cut them off. Learn to say “no.” It is one of the most important things that you will need to learn to save yourself from people who are going to use your money as their own.

Apply the Proximity Principle to Succeed in Life

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“To remain far-sighted, you need to surround yourself with far-sighted visionaries. You need to surround yourself with people who think like you. You need to surround yourself with people who speak the same language as you. You need to surround yourself with people who fight and refuse to give up on their destiny. You need to surround yourself with people whose testimonies give you reasons to press on.” – D.S. Mashego

The proximity principle refers to the concept of surrounding yourself with the people who are already doing what you want to do or are in the position you want to be in.

If you want to succeed, then find someone who is either at the same level that you want to reach or someone who is in the process of doing so. Surrounding yourself with people who are like-minded will motivate you to reach the heights that you want to achieve.

Finding people who are at the same wavelength as you is not as difficult as you might think. The internet provides you with a great opportunity to connect with people not only in your locality but with people all over the world.

Schedule a lunch or dinner outing with people who are in your own locality so that you can share ideas. Use that time to ask about what it takes for someone in your situation to make the transition into the process of going after your dreams.

Let’s say that you are thinking about switching careers. You are ready to cut your losses and file the experience under a transitioning phase in your life. At the end of the day, it’s all about pursuing your dreams, right? That’s great!

But wait up, don’t be too hasty about making a decision. There are a lot of factors to consider before you make the big leap, this is when talking to people who understand the change comes into the picture. You can also find a mentor to guide you throughout the transition.

Those who want to transition into entrepreneurship or any other industry especially after quitting their well-paying job should apply the proximity principle because the people around you are not going to understand your need to work for your dreams but people with the same mindset will. 

Connecting with people who share the same ideology as you is a great way to hold yourself accountable and be motivated whenever you feel like you might give up.